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Yank C.

Yank was arrested when he was 15 years old. He is currently serving a life sentence and yearns for an opportunity to show his transformation and rehabilitation.

“I am not my mistakes. … Time has totally changed me. I dream of the day I will be given the opportunity to be the positive change needed to keep society safe and to give hope to troubled youth.” – Yank C.

Yank’s chaotic childhood culminated in his arrest when he was only 15 years old, which led to a sentence of life in prison with no possibility of parole. After spending over a decade behind bars, he hopes he will have the chance to show that he has grown and is now a mature, responsible adult. He wants to pay his debt to society by working hard and helping younger generations avoid the distractions and pitfalls that can befall young teens.

 

From One Troubled Environment to Another

Yank was raised by his grandmother, who took him in after he was abandoned by his mother at age 3 and became the only mother figure he ever knew. Unfortunately, she passed away when he was just 12 years old, and as a result, he moved in with his father. For young Yank, this transition proved painful. His father was an alcoholic and abusive man, who raised him “not to show emotions and not to talk about (his) feelings.” 

Yank aspired to join the United States Army but never had a chance to accomplish his dream: his new environment was not conducive to learning, rather it was a source of constant stress and trauma. Yank remembers his “mind was always roaming” as abuse took a toll on his mental wellbeing. He attempted suicide in July 2010 and was briefly placed in a child psychiatric hospital for major depression. He recalls being forced to take an antidepressant, a pill that had severe negative effects. In spite of his complaints, he did not receive a different antidepressant. “The drug made me think crazy. I told my dad, the doctor, my uncle, they all did nothing,” Yank laments.

Upon his release from the hospital, Yank’s  situation worsened. “I couldn’t tell if I was in a dream or in real life. So I would wait until my dad passed out and drink his beer in order to sleep, otherwise I would be extremely agitated,” he recounts. Yank continued to engage in this self-destructive behavior until he was arrested for a double murder in August 2010. Yank says he doesn’t “remember much about that night.” He only has blurred memories of detectives handcuffing him and of himself sitting in the interrogation room without a lawyer or a relative.

The State of Illinois tried Yank as an adult and he received a life without parole sentence at age 16. He began his sentence at Kewanee Life Skills Re-Entry Center, and was then sent to Stateville Correctional Center after turning 18, then Menard Correctional Center, before a transfer to Pinckneyville Correctional Center.

Incarceration has been a painful experience for Yank. At the beginning, he was scared because some staff members and people he was incarcerated with were ruthless. In addition, he had no educational opportunities. “I received numerous responses from schools telling me that my Mandatory Supervised Release (MSR) date was the reason I couldn’t get into school,” he deplores. Yank is not alone; it is difficult for many people serving life or other long sentences to access classes in Illinois prisons.

Furthermore, Yank did not immediately understand the significance of being sentenced to life without parole. It was only after he arrived at Menard, a few years after his conviction, that he realized he would die in prison. He thought, “Everything was over,” and developed a “mindset of destruction and chaos.” 

Fortunately, at Menard, Yank also met a few staff and older incarcerated people who helped him. With their support, he made a lasting change in his behavior. Working out, reading, and listening to music became his main occupations, and keeping a job also became a priority. In fact, staying busy helped him cope with the challenges of prison life. 

After his transfer to Pinckneyville, however, Yank found it hard to get a job, as priority was given to people who “are eligible to earn good time.” In order to maintain some financial autonomy, he learned how to tattoo. Over time, Cliford found that tattooing was not just a way to make money, but a good outlet to navigate his guilt as well.

Another Extreme Sentence

Yank’s legal procedures have been taxing, both mentally and emotionally. He has unsuccessfully appealed his sentence several times, and the denial of his first clemency petition proved particularly discouraging. The U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in Miller v. Alabama gave him a glimpse of hope. “I was in Menard. I am not going to lie, I wanted to cry. I remember so many of us trying to get to the law library to learn more about the case. At that time I thought I was instantly going to get out,” he explains. The tiny ripple of hope quickly vanished as Yank’s post-conviction appeals lingered.

In 2017, pursuant to Miller, Yank was re-sentenced to 85 years, meaning he would be more than 100 years old when released. Though seemingly shorter than his initial conviction of life, his new sentence was a de facto life sentence, one that does not guarantee freedom before death. Frustrated, Yank believes that only effective and efficient legal support can help alleviate his stress. “I really need someone who can help me with my legal battles, because none of my relatives has the ability to do that,” he says. What Yank’s relatives do provide, however, is much needed emotional assistance. He is extremely appreciative of his dad, stepmom, and cousin, along with a childhood friend, who take care of him. He does not take their help for granted, as for apart from this small circle, “most of his relatives have died or abandoned him.”

In addition to the stress and pains of imprisonment, Yank also has to deal with multiple, chronic health problems. “I have high blood pressure and acid reflux; I suffer from degenerative disk disease, and I am hearing impaired. In addition, my finger is permanently damaged because when I broke it, it took over two months for the healthcare staff to send me to an orthopedic doctor,” he explains. In spite of the odds, Yank does not want to lose hope. “If you want to rehabilitate yourself in a place like this, you must be strong-willed.” He explains: “I used my own money to enroll in the Blackstone (Career Institute) paralegal program just because they didn’t allow me to go to school.” For him it’s a great achievement, especially considering his background. “I am one of the few in my family to have graduated high school, and I did so as Valedictorian. I am the only person to take college courses on both sides,” Yank says.

Awaiting The Miracle of Freedom

Yank is determined to continue improving his life while awaiting the “miracle” of freedom. “If I could have a sentence that could get me home at a reasonable age, it could mean everything. I don’t have kids, and I don’t have any fun memories of life. I would like to experience life, love, and fatherhood,” he says. Yank wants to show that he no longer has the “destructive mindset” of a “helpless, lost kid” but rather the maturity of an adult who is ready to make amends. 

Reflecting on his experience, Yank realizes what a great difference a concerned adult would have made in his life. “I just needed someone to talk to. I didn’t have anyone who really cared. People knew what was going on in my home and in my life, but never stopped to really make a difference.” He wants to be that “concerned adult” who helps younger generations avoid some of the pains he went through. “I want to have a positive impact on troubled young lives, I want to help kids who are like me at that age.” He continues, “I am ready to make a difference if given the chance.” In addition to helping kids, Yank would also like to be the voice of those who are incarcerated. For him, it is important to build a bridge between them and the outside world. 

Yank has transformed his life and believes he is psychologically prepared for reentry, while fully aware that challenges are unavoidable. “Even behind bars, I have been working hard. I have so many things planned; I don’t know how hard it’s going to be, of course, but I know I am a hard worker and will follow through with my plans.” He has written books that he would like to publish. Above all, he dreams of owning a tattoo business, after attending college and getting an art degree. “I have an entrepreneur mindset,” he notes.  

Although incarceration has not been easy, Yank wants to remain positive about his life behind bars. “I had to grow up in prison; I learned everything I know in here,” he says. He wants people to know that he has matured. “I am not my past mistakes. I was an angry kid and I didn’t think about the ramifications of my actions until it was too late.” He concludes “Time has totally changed me. I grew up, and my suicidal thoughts went away with my youth. I found my purpose to live on, to fight for a better tomorrow. I want people to know that I am loyal, caring, honest, compassionate, and understanding. I gave up all the bad qualities I once had. I just hope those who have the power will give me the chance to be the positive change needed to keep society safe and a source of hope for youth who are at risk of incarceration.”